Big Magic – In a Light Package

The first time I picked up this book, I’ll admit I scanned it, and then put it back. I had it out from the library, and when there was someone next in line, I let it go back.

It seemed light, and I have read so much on creativity I thought it wasn’t very relevant.

But.

Then I listened to Brene Brown (Rising Strong) talk on Elizabeth Gilbert’s podcast, and their synergy was so great. I immediately got Rising Strong to read, and also recommitted to trying Big Magic.

And they made great companion reads. While Rising Strong gets into the nitty-gritty of recreating your patterns of failure, Big Magic talks philosophy about creativity. And while it IS a light read, it tends to very lightly draw out some of the darkest myths of creative work.

And then illuminates them with more balanced, truthful ways to think.

This book is one that’s going on my very short list of books to actively push on people. (Like Rising Strong!) Because it’s light enough to breeze through–while also collecting so much of what we need to hear about retraining our beliefs on creativity.

How did I not realize this book was my jam?

***

I will be giving away an e-book of either Big Magic or Rising Strong to one of the attendees of my webinar on Thursday!

Unlock Your Agency: Three Tools to Become the Hero of Your Life

September 30th, Friday, 7pm Central on ZOOM

What a fizzled drama taught me about AGENCY

A show I really loved just ended with not a bang, but a whimper.

It was really too bad, because it had a lot of meta about storytelling. The premise was that a webcomic character starts to change his story when the writer makes choices he doesn’t agree with. Talk about a huge question about agency and humanity!

So when the finale didn’t let the heroes determine their own ending, but instead put a lot of the power and emphasis back on the cartoonist (who through the show was unheroic and running from his responsibility) it seemed more than a waste.

It seemed like the screenwriter was failing themselves, self-sabotaging.

Boy, does that strike close to home.

While I am glad to be where I am, I also know that if I had been more confident of my work earlier in life, I might be making money writing by now. If I had been less wishy-washy about profit, I might have a successful online yarn store.

If I hadn’t allowed my self-doubt to keep me back…I might not be questioning myself so much right now about my coaching, future, relationship status.

One of the main things flaws in the drama is that the characters we assumed were the heroes didn’t have flaws they had to overcome. In a story, it’s the most compelling if we see a hero fail–and get back up to try again. Try something different. Face their failure and finally acknowledge when they’re wrong. Have to overcome that.

And while the cartoonist (erstwhile villain) does have a major flaw, I wasn’t satisfied enough in his ending to feel he earned the hero seat, either. He gave up on himself because of his flaws.

He’ll never go on to write a better webtoon that’s plotted more responsibly. But I hope the scriptwriter behind the drama WILL.

Maybe she’ll join my Unlock Your Agency webinar…

Because one of the main things I’m going to cover is what I’ve been discovering about failure: you have to own it. You have to use it to learn more about yourself.

Right now I’m getting quite the education. I hope you’ll join me next week as I share some of the tools that make owning your flaws a hero’s journey–not the end of the story.

Unlock Your Agency: Friday, September 30th – 7pm Central

 

The Disproportionate Fear of Firsts

When I called a college the other day, I had to psych myself up for it–I even called a doctor’s office with a little question as a sort of trial run. (Killing two birds with one stone: if the doctor’s office call was all I had, I would have dreaded it more.)

I got through a phone-tree to a person, who directed me to the right office, where I left a message. And I congratulated myself, scented by all the courage-enhancing essential oils I’d put on, for doing it. It wasn’t so bad. I was an adult!

I happened to miss the call I got back the next morning.

Still in my pajamas, I immediately, calmly rang back. Got a phone tree–zero for operator–got through.

Had a very confident conversation with minimal blethering-on (I feel the bio was appropriate to establishing connection, if slightly long) and then got off the phone feeling like I had deported myself with honor.

All without real pants on.

Why are we so afraid of doing things for the first time?

I think in a lot of cases, it’s the lack of connection. I called someone who doesn’t know me, and has power of judgment. When she called me back, I knew I had succeeded in at least making a small connection.

Being vulnerable enough to make that step toward connection is a big deal.

What’s something you’ve been hesitating to do because of this kind of personal risk, big or small?

What do you need to actually go do it?

I can set you up with some EOs! Or a coach who makes it a bit more rewarding.

(If you think I don’t do things so I can brag to Coach Carmela about it, you’re dead wrong.)

~ Bethany

Your Friendly Neighborhood Health Coach

***

Taking action despite fear is part of what separates the hero from the extra. Interested in learning how you can act the hero part more in your life? Come to my webinar, Unlock Your Agency – Friday Sept. 30th, 7pm Central on Zoom!

Book Review: Rising Strong

Sometimes you don’t open a book for a reason.

I had asked my mom which Brene Brown books she had when I finished listening to her episode on Elizabeth Gilbert’s Magic Lessons* podcast, a brilliant conversation about fear and creating..

*I also got Gilbert’s Big Magic out–look forward to a post on it as well!

This book sat on the top of a sizeable pile of To-Read books for while–and then I had a couple of failures in very different arenas of life, and it was waiting for me.

I read it through as if it were a particularly addictive novel. But it’s not a fluff read. It’s funny, wise, and occasionally heartbreaking. And it digs into the reasons we weaponize our words in situations–and how to instead explore what the pain is that makes us retreat into our tanks.

It’s not a comforting “you’re fine, just be true to yourself” read. It’s instead a concrete guidebook for those who want to do the work of confronting their emotional baggage, shame, and own that vulnerability.

It’s the kind of book that could change the world. At the very least, it will change the world around those who read it and take it to heart.

I’ve been doing the work of coaching in my own life for some time now. Up to now I’ve been learning to release emotions and improve my baseline. A mainly self-centered process that’s important. Rising Strong outlined how to expand this into relationships with others–when you have a conflict, and are face-down with hurt.

How to learn from those moments to later keep your feet under you and recognize, “Oh, my sense of inadequacy is being triggered by this, but I don’t think that’s the intention. How do we handle this together?”

And in a way it is a comfort to read. It says, “Oh, yes, you will fail yourself and the people you love. But here is how to learn from that.”

That sounds less like wishful thinking and a lot like the life I can live. It’s actually really exciting.

***

I’m also really excited to share this with my coaching clients! The more we understand emotional hindrances to moving forward, the more I can help them be the heroes of their own stories.

Mark your calendars for my next webinar, Unlock Your Agency on Sept 30th, 7pm Central!

Link is to the Facebook event where updates and reminders will be posted. Join there and you can even catch a replay if you miss the actual webinar.

Fear-Busters – My Coaching Team

It’s glamorous to talk about realizations and revelations in a sort of social vacuum, barring books as a sort of neutral companion to intellectual ascent.

Hogwash.

When I told my story the other day of coming to a crackling realization of what I was doing wrong, I didn’t misrepresent it. That realization happened while I was reading, and alone.

The rest of the story, though, is that I have been weaving a net of friends and coaches that are present even just in my process when I’m by myself.

I had just a few days before gone to a friend also studying coaching to talk about a relationship failure, and that reflected on how I was able to go into reading Rising Strong with openness to having been in the wrong.

When I realized I had chosen my goal poorly, one of the first people I wrote to about the watershed was my life coach, who I knew would be excited about my paradigm shift.

And even if I’m not actively interacting with them, I know I have people to reach out to, people who know what I’m trying to do in life and are on board.

A dream team.

It’s important to build yourself a community like this. Not by cutting off relationships with people who don’t serve that purpose, but instead by being intentional with those people who DO support and understand you.

Who’s on your dream team?

(I think I should be, but I’m biased!)

Sugar Drama – or, how I coach myself

To be honest, I miss having a drama-diary.

You know, the kind you keep when you’re young or upset, usually both? The kind that chronicles the super-important events of angst and feeling.

I’ve never been very good at that kind of diary (I am the sort of person who writes to reason with myself, and left most of the interesting bits out of any given diary entry even during those days) but Morning Pages aren’t at all like that.

I have been on the move the last several days, between cities and in the car for the better part of 4 days. 2 out of those four I didn’t do my Morning Pages. I’m advanced enough in my practice while I may make the choice to do that, I don’t forget. I may remember throughout the day, even just because of my lack of focus.

Then again, I’ve had enough of a practice that I can also have the conversations in my head that I started to learn to have on paper.

While I was away, feeling the heat of 100+ weather that the car AC was catching up from for the fifth time that day, I started thinking about the fitness/health issue that’s been bothering me.

And I realized: I have been not quitting sugar when I know it’s a huge problem for me–for no good reason. Only to have a reason to not be well.

Ugh.

I HATE WHEN I’M RIGHT.

Haha.

I look forward to starting off tomorrow with nowhere to go and a proper morning with some journaling in it. Maybe we can have a good talk about how I’m going to stay on the bandwagon beyond just “WE’RE DONE, SUGAR, I DON’T NEED YOU ANYMORE.”

I guess my journals are still a little dramatic.

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Interested in weaponizing your own diary? Or getting into the practice of journaling?

Get Back Your MOJO closes registration today!