Internal Post-Mortem

I’ve made some mistakes lately. Not like Headline the News kind or even really bathroom gossip kind, just slips of the tongue or awkward reactions.

The kinds of things that anxious people spend quality time thinking about when things get quiet, for no good reason.

Which bothers me, because I thought we were good, my brain and me. Letting things go and processing appropriately. Why is this stuff bothering me?

And maybe the fact I haven’t quit coffee like I want to is part of it, and maybe it’s weird sleep…

But I just had a thought:
Maybe it’s because I’m taking risks.
That’s why I feel more vulnerable when the mistakes are made–why I’m more vulnerable to make them in the first place.

I’m getting out of my spheres of easy competence.

Maybe it’s not weird to be dwelling a little long on the tells that I’m not where I want to be, yet.

But I do know a pretty good process now for letting them go when I’m done learning from them.

I hope that’s what’s happening here.

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