I’ve been pondering the ways our bodies become foreign territory lately.
Several things inspired it–this :fire: interview on MarieTV, my belly dance class, and also interviews with martial artists for a book I’m planning.
And yesterday as I was walking I realized that the small of my back is always tight because I’m trying not to let my body sway too much. Walk straight, tight, compact.
I recently watched what was essentially an academic lecture on gender portrayals in advertising, “The Codes of Gender”. It talked mainly about femininity–how it’s portrayed as vulnerable, unconnected with surroundings or even objects the model touches. But the masculinity is hyperreal, too–even if the men are skinny they seem to have a certain strength or confidence that lines up with an ideal.
Both sides of this may not be the way the models actually feel, but it’s in the way they are presented by pose.
While I am intimately familiar with way women feel about their bodies, there was a theme in my interviews with the male martial artists–when they started they were unconnected to their bodies, because they were “not athletic” or “skinny”.
Women’s bodies are treated as objects. Men’s bodies are supposed to possess certain sizes and skills.
Most of us, I think, disassociate in one way or another, to not feel shame or inadequacy.
So we have these alien bodies that send up flares through pain or hunger or anxiety, trying to regain connection.
Like Glennon Doyle Melton talks about in that interview, yoga (and martial arts and belly dance) can be the way we reconnect with our bodies. More importantly, you have to take the step of being willing to listen not just to the flares, but the reason you disconnected in the first place.
It’s work I’m still doing. But Rising Strong is one resource I can recommend for exploring that, as is any of Brene Brown’s work.
And if you want a comrade on that journey, I’m here.
~ Bethany, Your Friendly Neighborhood Health Coach
My upcoming webinar Unlock Your Agency (Sep 30th, 7pm Central) will cover some easy tools to start on reclaiming your life, including your body. I’ll also have a special enrollment price for new clients!
Are you ready to reclaim your body as your territory?